So, I was listening to this song on my iPod Shuffle today, and something hit me. I realized that in the midst of my on going battle with idols, sexual inpurity, and all of that crap, this song beautifully says what I want to...so here it is in all of glory..."My Friends Over You.."

I'm drunk off your kiss,
For another night in a row.
This is becoming too routine for me,
But I didn't mean to lead you on.

And it's alright to pretend,
That we still talk.
It's just for show, isn't it,
It's my fault that it fell apart.

Just maybe, you need this.
And I didn't, mean to, lead you on.

You were everything I wanted,
But I just can't finish what I started.
There's no room left here on my back,
It was damaged long ago.
Though you swear that you are true,
I'd still pick my friends over you.
My friends over you.

Please tell me everything,
That you think that I should know.
About all the plans you made,
When I was nowhere to be found.

And it's alright to forget,
That we still talk.
It's just for fun, isn't it,
It's my fault that it fell apart.

Just maybe, you need this.
And I didn't, mean to, lead you on.

You were everything I wanted,
But I just can't finish what I started.
There's no room left here on my back,
It was damaged long ago.
Though you swear that you are true,
I'd still pick my friends over you.
My friends over you.

Just maybe, you need this.
You need this.
And I didn't, mean to, lead you on.

You were everything I wanted,
But I just can't finish what I started.
There's no room left here on my back,
It was damaged long ago.
Though you swear that you are true,
I'd still pick my friends over you.
My friends over you.

You were everything I wanted,
But I just can't finish what I started.
There's no room left here on my back,
It was damaged long ago.
Though you swear that you are true,
I'd still pick my friends over you.
My friends over you.

.....Tell me what you think...

Useless

So, I have not updated for a long time. There is a good reason for that;. For some of that reason, you could look at the post before this one. The other reason is because I have been thinking about something, and this is what it is, in all of it's glory...

This idea came to me Friday after I have finished all of my classes for the week. For the first time in my life, I felt completly useless. I felt as if I could offer nothing to the current situation in which I found myself in. For that evening, all I could think about was how "useless" I was. 

I kept on thinking about how hard it has been for me in my studies here. Or, how hard I have struggled with a sexual compulsive behavior. Or, how singel I really am. These thoughs bombarded me for quit sometime. It was only when I prayed did I find out how "useless" I really am.

I am reminded of one of my favorite stories in the Old Testament. It can be found in Exodus chapter 3. This is the story of Moses and the buring bush. What makes this story powerful to me is this :

In Exdous chapters 1 and 2 we find out a lot about Moses. We find out that he is a Hebrew that was put into a basket to float down the river to be said by the very same people who where trying to kill him. Not only that, but he grew up in the house of the people who where enslaving his people! But, it gets even more interesting. Moses kills a man and runs into the desert to herd sheep. He is "on the lamb"...(That was lame, I know)

So, when God comes to Moses, he kows all of thescrew ups that Moses has done. Clearly, it looks like that Moses is not the man for God's job. It seems that Moses would rather spend his life herding the one of the stupidest animals around than actually help his people, but God calls him none the less.

And, when God does tell Moses all he wants to do, Moses expresses what I have been feeling. "Who am I to do any of the things You have comanded me to do!?" Moses is feeling "useless". He knows what God wants him to do, and tells God "I can't do it".

At this point, Moses commits his last screw up before God. Now, I may be reading WAY to mucch into this, but, I htink itis very interesting the reaction Moses gets from God once he has said this. I believe that God knew all that Moses had dnone and what was going through his mind at that moment. So, what does God do? What great words does God have to say to pick a fallen man off the pavement..?

"You're right you can't do it!" What!? I'm not on the consueling department nor have I ever helped someone through their problems, but I am pretty sure saying "Yup, you can do anything" isn't the right thing to say, or is it?

Back in Genesis 1, when God created everything, what was man before God? What was man before God stepped in and did something : dirt. Yup, that's right, dirt. A man without God is simply a pile of dirt. Dirt can stand up and convist thousands to turn to Chirst. Dirt can't say the right words to a Mother who has a dieing son in the hospital. Dirt can't do anything!

If you think I am taking this dirt thing a little to far, you need to look no farther than our firnds Moses. He was out in the middle of a desert, running from the only family he ever knew, herding some of the stupidest animals on this earth. If that's not dirt, I don't know what dirt is.

But, after his little run in with God, Moses became one of the greatest leaders in the history of Israel! God used dirt to do great things, despite what it truely was.

So, yes, I am useless. I can't do it on my own. Everything that I want to do in life will be done not because I will  do them, but because God will. So, even though I feel completly and utterly useless, I have a useful God. A God that turns me from dirt into something that can change souls.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am running on faith. I know whatever happens, happens. I can't and God can.

Jim

Operation :GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!!!

I go to a small church. To put it in prespective, we were happy last Sunday when we had 57 people in the morning service. That is how small we are. There are many reasons why our church is small. I could point the fingure at numerous people. But, I am going to point the fingure squarly at Satan. He is the root problem of the withering of Shattalon Church of Chirst.

What God has laid on my heart is no small task. I will admit that I am not prepared to do this, but God is the boss. I will do what He wants to do. I want to do wat I am calling "Operation : GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!!!!" What God has laid on me will not be easy nor will it be short. It will be an envasion of prayer, praise, and procliamtion on a church filled with bags stuffed by the devil.

I wish to employ to teams. The first team would not go to Shattalon Church of Christ. They would instead start praying, now. They would pray for us while we are prefomring "Operation: GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!!!" They would also pray afterwards.

The second team would would be at "ground zero" if you will. They would be the ones praying, praising, and proclimating. I think you get the idea.

Now, if you so feeled moved to do something. I pray and hope that you would pray and come a seek me once school starts. I would be hoping to go in September over the weekend. We would do this on a Saturday and come back on Sunday on Monday.

Jim

At My Wits End.....

****WARING I LOVE MY DAD****

So, tonight the unspeakable happened. Tonight something so irratating happened that I am forced to post it on Xanga. Tonight, my Dad told me that I am going to Hell. Why?! What harsh offense did I, Jim Kiser commit? Ladys and gentlemen, I do not worship God on Saturday, that is why I am going to burn in Hell.

How does a Dad tell his Son, more or less, that he is going to Hell? What happens? Well, what follows is what I have been going through for the past two years. I write this not to have a sympthay party. I do not write this to instill the kind of anger I have for such a statement. I write this for help. I write this in hopes that maybe one of you smart people out there, I know you are out there, will be able to give me some sort of idea how to..... do anything at all. So here it goes, the journey of my Dad James Louie Kiser Jr.

My Dad was baptized over 14 years ago. He was baptized at Shattalon Church of Christ Feb. of '92. The minister at that time came over and was talking to my parents a lot. I remember seeing them together quit a lot. I even remember seeing the minister giving my Mom and Dad the Bibles they recieved for being the new members in Gods family. They where excited and I was excited for them.

For a number of years, the Kiser family became what I like to call "bench warmers". We went to church. We knew God existed. We knew, but never acted. Church was viewed as something we had to do. Church was something we did it was not something we were.This all changed about 6 years ago when we got a new minister. He turned the whole Kiser family onto God. His name is Gene Woolard. He is the reason I am at JBC. He is the reason that I went to China. Without Gene showing us God, I don't know where I would be. All I know is I am glad God sent him.

Anydangway, my Dad was opened to the gospel. And, to be honest, out of the three of us, Dad was probably the one that was on the most fire for God. He was so thirsty. He was so hungry. He wanted to know more. He wanted to find out all of the secrets of the Bible. He wanted to know everything. He was like a kid in a candy shop. I could not be more happy for him than I was two years ago. Dad wanted Jesus!

So, he began to search for Jesus on the internet. He began to combe the net for anything he could get his hands on. Unfortunatly, he gots his hands on the wrong material. Now, I am not goign to disclose which organization he got his stuff from. I do not wish to bash them. Anyway, he got these books and tapes and all of these things, most of which where about the Ten Commandments. He would read them all and underline and highlight.

Then the days came where my dad started to believe that you had to keep the old law. He was tellign people that you had to worship on Saturday. He was telling people that you had to do this this way and that that way. The more he "studied" the more I got worried. The more he "studied" the more he became "right" and everyone else was "wrong".

Now, thsi wasn't so bad execpt he was teaching young people at Shattalon. He was telling them the same things they where telling him. I was the youth minister of Shattalon that Summer. People had begin to complain, I saw the look on the teens faces, and I saw the message my Dad was preaching. So, I had to get him fired. And, eventualy, he not only stop teaching but stop being an elder. Over the Sabbath. . .

Ever since then, my dad has been "studying" more and has been reading more books. I figgured that things could not get any worst. My dad is only goign to Shattalon because he meet Christ there. I mean he said he only dissagreed with 15 percent of our views. He said that most of what we though was okay. Then, I came home ftrom China. While I was helping him in the yard, my dad told me that he disaggrees with about 80 percent of what our church believes.  Then, came tonight.

My dad showed me this book, as he often does, trying to impress me or convince me of the Sabbath. I told him I was going to try to explain to him what someone told him. He thinks that Shattalon believes that the Old Testament is done away with and is of no use to us. I tired to tell him that it was not. Then it happened. His though process went like this:

1) James 2:10 : For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

2) Worship on Sunday is not the Sabbath.

3) Sin is transgression from the law.

4) I am being decived in worshipping not on the Sabbath, therefore I haved sinned and I am not repenting. There is only one thing left for me...Hell

So, I ask...what do I do? I pray for him. I love him. I try not to get into arguements with him. I don't want to make him mad. But, the fact of the matter is that I am scared. I don;t know what to do. And, it's not liek the problem is getting smaller or going away. The problem is here with me, and he is related to me! HELP

By the way, I really do love my Dad. I think so much of him. Please don;t think by any means that I don't love him. I do. It's just.....?

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Jim

1. The capacity, quality, or fact of being patient.
2. Chiefly British. The game solitaire.

Synonyms: patience, long-suffering, resignation, forbearance
These nouns denote the capacity to endure hardship, difficulty, or inconvenience without complaint. Patience emphasizes calmness, self-control, and the willingness or ability to tolerate delay: Our patience will achieve more than our force (Edmund Burke). Long-suffering is long and patient endurance, as of wrong or provocation: The general, a man not known for docility and long-suffering, flew into a rage. Resignation implies acceptance of or submission to something trying, as out of despair or necessity: I undertook the job with an air of resignation. Forbearance denotes restraint, as in retaliating, demanding what is due, or voicing disapproval: “It is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian forbearance, love, and charity towards each other” (Patrick Henry).

wait    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (wt)
v. wait·ed, wait·ing, waits
v. intr.

1. To remain or rest in expectation: waiting for the guests to arrive. See Synonyms at stay¹.

This is from Dictionary.com.

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Jim